After re-connecting
with a school friend, she told me a story that has stuck with me. I had asked a question regarding what you would miss if it were taken from you, and she
said she had been through two robberies! This I had to hear.
Thanks to Christy for telling her story here.
In
May of our senior year of high school, my dad took a new job in Memphis. My
mom, brother, and I stayed behind so I could graduate and we could work our
summer jobs before school in the fall. So, the 3 of us lived in an apartment
temporarily, while Dad came home every other weekend all summer. In August, my
brother moved to his college dorm, and the night before I was supposed to go to
school, we borrowed our friend's car and loaded it up with all my stuff. I went
out with some friends, came home and went to bed.
My
mom came into my room the next morning.
"Was
the car there when you got home last night?"
"Yep,
sure was, Mom."
"Well,
it's not now."
And
so, I moved to college with literally the clothes on my back. They had my
scrapbook from my graduation reception (pictures from my birth through
graduation), journals, and computer--Everything I was taking to college with
me.
It
doesn't take long to move into the dorm when you have one pair of shoes and a
stereo. My parents and I went to Wal-Mart and spent probably $1000 trying to
get me ready for the first day of class. I didn't even have sheets, pens,
backpack...nothing. Mom and Dad moved to Memphis the next day (it broke their
hearts to leave me knowing the trauma I was going through). Three days later
was my 18th birthday and they found the car. It had one of my birthday presents
and my case of Dr. Pepper left in it. That's it.
The second
robbery was just that. Karl and I had been married 8 months. We came home from
work one night (we carpooled) and found one of our laundry baskets in our
driveway (we live in the country in the middle of nowhere. The closest neighbor
is 1/2 mile away and we can only see one house from ours). There was a trail of
DVDs through the yard up to the door. It wasn't pretty when we entered the
house. All of the kitchen cabinets were open and the place was ransacked. They
got interrupted or I'm certain they would have taken more (we know they were
interrupted because there were bags half-packed left throughout the house).
They took most of the electronic equipment, all the DVDs (we had a ton),
jewelry, guns, ammo, money, and more. All told, it was about $14,000 worth of stuff.
They took the diamond tennis bracelet that Dad gave Mom on their 15th
anniversary. They took a box of letters that my mother-in-law had written to
Karl through the years. They took my jewelry box with my high school class ring
in it (so if you're ever in a pawn shop, see if my name is engraved on the
inside. HA!).
They
never found out who did it (in either case, actually).
How do
you move on and heal from either of these horrible situations?
It
was hard to process. The first time, I was so lost I didn't know anyone at
college since it was the first day. I literally
had nothing. It was VERY hard to cope. I would imagine that moving to college
would have been hard anyway, but adding on your parents moving 9 hours away and
not having any of your stuff just made it worse. In some ways, I'm angry that I
didn't get to have the "normal" first week of college experience. I
missed out on a lot the first day because I was trying to get some of my stuff
replaced. It took months to get everything replaced. I have the list of
everything that was taken. . .it's ridiculously long.
The home robbery
was very violating. Knowing that these people had been through my drawers and
cabinets was disgusting to me. My mom came out the next day and scrubbed my
entire kitchen from top to bottom (cabinets, dishes, floor, doors, etc). We
just wanted to get the "ick" out. It took a long time for me to not
be paranoid when I came home after work. I never felt unsafe because I knew my
husband would keep me safe. But, I still felt uneasy--especially when I was
home alone at night. Where we live, there are no street lights. It's very dark
and quiet. Every time the dog barked, I thought someone might be coming. It was
hard. Eventually I worked through it and rarely feel panicky about it anymore
(it's been 9 years), but I do still have some random moments of paranoia. When
it comes now, it's intense because I'm home with the kids and my "Mama Bear" instincts come out to protect my babies.
I
think it's probably made me less trusting of people I don't know. If someone
just stops by our house, I meet them outside (don't even let them get inside
the fence) with my phone in my hand in case I have to call for help. I even
make my kids stay away from the windows!
It really makes you realize what actually matters. The DVDs and TV's can be replaced. The pictures and letters hurt the most. You can't get those back. Yes, you have the memories of what they said, but when that person is gone, it would be nice to have their written words or a picture with them. I do take more precautions now to save and back up all my pictures.
Christy,
I'm so glad we reconnected, and I wish I had been able to help out when you
went to college! We all went our separate ways, with no Facebook back then. . . I hope you had support around you at the time.
Obviously,
you have healed because you have a bright, shining, positive spirit on social
media-- where I see you now. I hope your story can inspire someone else who has
been violated by theft that others have been there-- and have moved through it. Thanks for sharing and letting me
use your story!
